Thursday, January 29, 2009

Who we is!

We're new. We're youngish. We're hip. Well, at the very least one of us is (hint: Ned ain't the hip one). That makes it worth it, right? It's your visit. It's you. It's a mention to your therapist that you found a little corner on the information highway road that makes you look completely sane. Remember when you did that thing with the cat? Well, that wasn't shit. You found this new, youngish, hip bunch of lefty or centrist or mildly right-leaning nuts that make Richard Simmons look like a square.

You're therapist will ask, because that's what the dude/ladydude gets paid for, to act like he/she isn't thinking about a three-way with Yoko Ono and party animal Ted Haggard (who's the one that needs help? you? me? i think not - it's the ladydude/dude across from you with the fancy writing pen, man!), after you've mumbled along about parallel parking and dog walks, "yeah, well, hey, what was that about Stuff Po" in that delayed oh, of course I was listening, because this is so interesting kind of way.

What will you say? What! I don't know, but if I, we, have any say in your personal goings-on you'll turn, look directly into ladydude/dude's over-paid eyes and in your best, bravest (think Meg Ryan) voice you'll say, "Stuff Po is, well, it's silly, wait, they wouldn't use that word - it's sophisiticated and pretentious and advanced and, well, the shit's all about stuff. You know how I was going on earlier about trying to park before I took my dog, Freddy, for a walk, well, it's kind of like that, but not."

Note: Stuffington Post has nothing to with stuffed bears, although we love bears. And, we love stuffing. A ton!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Bennington's Clip uh da Week

I know you still do this. I do. You do. If you have fingers and access to pitted olives, why wouldn't you place olives on each of your 8-12 fingers and slowly enjoy a fun, friendly, handsome snack? Better still: a lover's olive hand! Olive hands caressing your most erogenous areas. Ecstasy, I say. Be gentle, lover. Don't tear the olives.

Olives are a sign of peace. Or, at least their branches are. Sure, the branch symbolizes goodwill and peace, but the fruit is delicious, and obviously was created to fit snugly over fingers. Yum!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Clip uh da week

Fresh and clever! A double serving!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

One down

We, the staff at Stuffington Post, the fastest growing anonymous blog that we're working on, regretfully announce that Fancy Pantsington, a former employee of Stuff Po, was dismissed from his/her writing duties earlier today. Presently, it isn't a big deal, but given Fancy's desire for drama and love of pyrotechnics, we have reason to believe it isn't over yet. As a mutual friend said, "Fancy's a lot like NBC's Brian Williams, but without the fame, talent, looks, or hygiene." We're sorry to see her/him go.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Let's Do This?

Guys, is that the best we could do? Let's do this? Really? Honestly?

What, and I mean who, is going to read this shit?

Seriously, who adopts the pseudonym Fancy? Fancy Pantsington? Let's run this by one another from now on, because obviously Fancy needs a helping of feedback.

Let's Do This

We's gonna get this shit bumped into high, or at least starting, gear by the 1st of February in the year 2009.

Our team consists of a tall anonymous person, a glasses-wearing anonymous person, and another tall anonymous person. We'll have random contributors who will also either wear corrective lenses or be greater than average in height, and you'll like it. Sounds like something you'd like to be a part of, in so much as you read it and then tell all your friends that you found "this site that's like, you know, something ya'll should check out," right? Fuck yes! Yes! Fuck!

We's Stuffington Post.